The Beta Theta's Class of '07 NYE @ Darkroom (Event Over)

ONLINE TICKET SALES ARE NOW CLOSED!!! PLEASE CALL THE BAR (MORE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE!) THANKS!!! 

Darkroom, The Beta Theta, and Dark Wave Disco Present:
CLASS'07 NEW YEAR'S EVE
Mon December 31 @ Darkroom
9 PM Till 2 AM /  2210 W. Chicago Ave.
$60 tix available in advance through http://www.going.com < http://www.going.com>  / $75 day of at the door
Includes Premium Open Bar & Champagne

Featuring:
THE DARK WAVE DISCO DJs
TRANCID, MARK GERTZ & GREG CORNER
www.myspace.com/darkwavedisco
& Beta Theta Resident DJs:
THE BETA THETA DJs
BROCK & TOBIAS
www.myspace.com/thebetatheta

Annual yearbook photo booth courtesy of David Schmelzer /  www.drscreative.com



CHICAGO, Illinois -  Investigators have recently uncovered evidence that the single most delicious and depraved night in Chicago is scheduled to occur, once again, at The Dark Room on New Year's Eve.

That's right, The Beta Theta is back to give you an alternative to paying $100 for the privilege of drinking Cristalino while while some lazy bastard presses play on a Best of the 80s compilation CD. Meeting in small caves and Howard Johnson motel rooms, The Beta Theta has quietly been recruiting DJs and sex slaves into a terrible cabal of the damned. A portion of the fire and brimstone speech given to the faithful in order to incite this raucous celebration of sight and sound has been obtained by investigators and is printed here in its entirety.

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Day turns into dusk on 2007, and we find ourselves in the homestretch of the first decade of the new millennium. I'd congratulate you on making it this far, but, frankly, I'm disappointed. You haven't tried hard enough. There have been 365 days and you've made the most of perhaps a dozen, two dozen if you were lucky. We stand precariously on a cliff's edge, saddled with a president hellbent on starting another world war, no end in sight to economic woes, the rise of a theocracy and we dissenting minority cry out with a voice lost utterly in the din of bat-shit fanatics. All of this, and you just sit there most of the time watching Everybody Loves Raymond as you spoon Chunky Monkey into your useless mouth, brain cells dying off from disuse. Consider this a call to arms. Consider this a challenge. Consider this an invitation to your own personal finest hour - a graduation from entropy to the rest of your life. This is your chance to crap on the naked chest of the ordinary and embrace pure celebration. Join us to party like it is the end of the world, like it is the last party you'll ever attend. You never know when it will be.

To carry you aloft on gossamer notes, so graceful that you barely notice your eyes bleeding, we bring you the historic union of The Beta Theta DJs and the Darkwave Disco DJs. This is something akin to Captain America, Santa Claus, Thor and Abraham Lincoln teaming up to fight the nazis with space weapons and flaming battle axes. Yeah, it's that big. We will not go quietly into 2008. We will not stand for dependency on hundred-dollar barrels of crude, illegal wiretaps, rampant sobriety and the deadly embrace of mediocrity. We will fight and we will win. Join us.

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Calls to DJ Brock yielded indecipherable responses seemingly in the form of belches punctuated by blood-curdling screams. When reached at his remote mountain villa, DJ Tobias did explain his position eloquently and effectively, but in a language nobody knows. Arunas sent a telegram reading, "plz snd mor wmn, kthnx." Finally, John B's press secretary reiterated that her client was both irresistibly charming and unavailable due to his unfortunate incarceration in Vladivostock until, "end of time."